Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Plugging Along

I've had a pretty successful couple of weeks.  There have still been a couple hiccups, but I've managed to lose 11 pounds this month.  I'm at 367 now or 63 pounds down.

I usually spend lunch at my desk at work.  There was one day last week when I was tired of doing so.  I wanted to go shopping and I had a hidden agenda...I wanted a treat.  So I called my "money friend" and told her I was going to go shopping for my lunch hour.  Her voice was hesitant, but she agreed.  This is against the rules for me to go shopping by myself, and for good reason, as I was to find out.  With my new found freedom, I first went to the ice cream shop and got a medium sized soft serve vanilla cone.  YUM!  The problem:  it was too much.  I never remember that I could be satisfied with less if I just give it a chance.  But I usually get too much if given the chance, because I'm afraid of not being satisfied.  A second problem was that it wasn't chocolate.  So, when I went to the dollar store to do some shopping, I had to grab a candy bar too.  I ate that up.  Then I went to the grocery store and bought some non-food items, but couldn't make it past the candy bar aisle.  So, candy bar number 2 went down the hatches.  I returned the credit card, keeping my little binge a secret.  It's hard because I want to be trust worthy about this stuff, but I don't succeed at it.

I do want to say that I am doing much better overall.  I just tell that story to illustrate that it's still hard and I'm not out of the woods, but I'm headed in a good direction.  The anxiety I used to feel when I wasn't stuffing my face, has lessened.  I'm exercising regularly.  I try to keep doing things after work so I don't miss the food so much.  I still have trouble sometimes, but it's much better.  Time with the restrictions in place seems to be healing me a little.


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