Fifty pounds are officially off my body! I crossed that threshold a couple weeks ago. I'm 1/5 of the way there. Two hundred more pounds to go. I've thought about what my goal weight might be and while I would be thrilled with around 150, I think realistically, 180-200 might be a better goal. But you never know. I realize that 200 would still be considered overweight, but considering where I've come from, that's a lot healthier than where I am now.
I've had my challenges the last couple of weeks. I got "booed" recently. It's not a bad thing. This is when a neighbor secretly leaves you treats with a "you've been booed" message for Halloween. Then you have to "boo" 2 more neighbors within 24 hours. Ideally, this continues until the whole neighborhood has a "We've been Booed" message on their front door. Well, I felt obligated to treat 2 of my neighbors and keep the thing going. So I took some change that I had managed to collect, and bought stuff for chocolate chip cookies. I managed to "Boo" one of my neighbors and I had intended to treat a second neighbor, but, feeling exhausted and achy, I didn't make it there. So I basically had cookies for breakfast, lunch and dinner the next day. Blah. I managed to only gain 1 pound on my weigh in, which was okay with me considering the amount of cookies I ate. But then I again, recommitted myself to the program. I may have said this before, but, for me, this process is definitely not a seamless one. There are ups and downs. Thankfully more ups than downs and thankfully I am still able to lose weight. Incidentally, the neighbor I managed to "Boo" didn't carry on the tradition...I am the only one with a sign on my door. Sorry to whoever started the thing.
While I'm still susceptible to eating too many treats, I am able to eat a moderate amount of regular food and not overdo it. Eating out is usually okay. I only eat half of what is there. My anxiety without food is lessening and I'm learning to live without constantly feeding my face. This has just come with time and patience and perseverance. It hasn't been easy and it helps that I usually don't have access to treats. However, I think it's healthy that I am allowing myself a treat occasionally. It takes the panic away of "I'll never be able to have chocolate again!" It also takes the guilt away, when I do allow myself some chocolate. Nothing is forbidden. Instead it is moderated.
Halloween is around the corner and I've decided that Smarties will be my treat. I don't really like them so they are safe with me.
My next challenge is getting off of diet Mountain Dew. I could drink 2 liters a day, if I let myself...and sometimes I do. I don't like that. So I'm taking a few extra days off work during Thanksgiving week to "detox". I usually don't get the headaches when I'm without it, thank goodness, but I'm always exhausted. So, I'm going to take those days and rest and hopefully, when I'm done, I'll have some natural energy back. They say withdrawal usually lasts at least a week and depending on how much caffeine you are used to having, can go for a month or more. So we'll see soon how that goes.
That's all for now.