Friday, January 25, 2013

The Wagon

I have managed to get back on the wagon a little.  Both feet are still hanging off the edge and my fingers are gripping the side boards, but at least most of me is on the wagon.  What a ride!  The road is unpaved and it feels like my wagon might have square wheels.  Bucking and sliding we go.  And I'm trying desperately to hang on!  There's mostly food lining the sides of the road and beyond and I have to be careful not to let go of the sideboards or I'll get thrown out right into a pile of Reece's and ice cream. I'm riding my wagon through Candy Land!  Yes, there are worse fates. :) 

"Keep your eye on the prize," I tell myself.  I just wonder when I'll get to a paved, straight road.  Will it ever get easier?  Will I always have to stay vigilant about food?  I long for a life where I'm not unconsciously gravitating toward the frig every 10 minutes.  Aah, to only want food when I'm hungry.  When does this transformation occur?  I guess I have to remember that I've spent 40 years perfecting eating constantly and it might take a while for all of this to come "naturally". 

I want my wagon to not be a wagon at all.  How about a limo?  With a small hot tub inside?  And a couple of cute guys who adore me and feed me grapes?  (See, everything comes back to food. :) )  I don't know what I want my road to be lined with.  Maybe when I figure that out, it'll get easier.

In the meantime, I'll keep holding on to my wagon.

P.S.  I'm down 45 lbs.  Yay!