Sunday, September 30, 2012

Success

I've lost 25 pounds!  I started a lifestyle change about 8 weeks ago and I'm loving it! 

I'm not calling this a diet though, because diets don't work.  I have occasionally lost weight on diets and then when I can't live up to their standards anymore, I've gained everything plus more back.  Dieting has been part of the reason for my steady weight gain.  Ironic, isn't it!  My last "diet" I lost 60 pounds, but when I couldn't take it anymore and the dam broke, I binged my way to a gain of 100 pounds.  That's when I swore off diets.  I have intense disdain for counting calories, grams, carbs, points, anything in the name of weight loss.  It makes me coo-coo for cocoa puffs.  It makes me food obsessed and guilt-ridden when my numbers don't add up. I feel famished and deprived of the food I want. Unsatisfied. It's difficult to live like that for a few weeks, much less the rest of your life.

I've been trying to figure out how "normal" people eat.  You know those people who just eat without thought, get it right, and don't have a weight problem.  I want to be free from food obsession and counting like they are.  I want to eat to live and not live to eat.  I want to deal with my emotions without food.  I think I've found something that has some of the answers that I'm looking for and I'm making some changes.  Some things I'm doing are eating only when I'm hungry, eating slowly, stopping when I'm comfortable, and cutting much of the sugar I used to eat out.  I can still eat what I want and I'm not counting a single thing...except my weight loss!

Just waiting to eat until I am hungry is marvelous.  I used to eat constantly, not ever letting myself get hungry.  I have found that eating to quelch the hunger is exceptionally satisfying.  So much more satisfying that just eating.  I want to wait til I'm hungry so I can get that satisfaction.  Now, if you were a fly on my wall, you would hear me say to myself several times a day, "I'm not hungry.  I'm not hungry."  I have to remind myself all the time, when I get a craving or I want to eat that I'm not hungry yet.  Most of the time, I'm successful.

The second thing that is incredible is chewing slowly.  I don't think I've really ever tasted my food.  It has been going in my mouth and down the hatch so fast that there's no chance to taste anything.  But I am impressed by how good food tastes when I slow down and enjoy it.  This has increased the satisfaction rating even further and I am amazed.

Anyway,  I am feeling so much better physically.  I have more energy, I can walk short distances without getting out of breath and it's getting better every day.  I always felt so lazy before, but I realize that I truly could not do much.  Even doing laundry or cooking a simple dinner was a trial.  But little by little those things are becoming easier.  And if I feel this improved from just 25 pounds, I wonder what the next 25 will bring?